How to attract people in just 90 seconds. Have you ever had trouble talking to people and maintaining their attention? Maybe you don’t have a good personality or attitude. Maybe you don’t have physical behavior that’s friendly to other people or a voice that doesn’t come off as comfortable and confident. If you have any or all of those problems, then you are in luck today. In this video, we will explain how you can attract someone and make them like you by talking for 90 seconds.
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Why that particular amount of time? Research was made, and the proof is that the average person’s attention span has gone down over time due to our exposure to computers, cell phones, and TV. For example, magazine ads have only two seconds to grab a person’s attention. If you like a particular ad within that amount of time, you will give time to that ad. If the ad doesn’t interest you, you simply turn the page and find something else that’s interesting.
Video:How to attract people in just 90 seconds.
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After a few seconds of conversation, people easily form their opinions about other human beings. Hence, it becomes essential to form a good impression and capture the person’s attention at the same time. This can be very useful for your personal and professional lives. Some people fail to understand that it’s very important to talk when they meet someone for the first time. This fact makes those people nervous and uneasy, and, as a result, they fail to form a good bond or relationship with the other person who gets a bad impression of them.
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We first need to understand three steps in order to make these things possible:
Meeting the person
Establishing a rapport with the person
Communicating with the person
Between these two important steps of meeting and communicating, you can create a rapport and impress the other person, forming an emotional connection. What exactly is rapport? We will explain later. So, don’t worry, because all these points are very important.
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Let’s meet the person. If you give the right impression within three or four seconds of meeting someone, this will make you look trustworthy, sincere, and safe. This is important to create rapport.
Now, here are five small tips we will share with you. By following them, you can create the right impression within a short amount of time.
Be open. You should have an open attitude and body language, not be closed. If you’re talking to someone by folding your hands or standing or sitting with less space, you’re expressing closed body language. However, if you keep your hands and legs open and take space while sitting or standing, you’re expressing open body language. Therefore, you should always try to use open body language while meeting someone. By doing this, you will appear impressive and confident.
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2) Eye contact: Keeping eye contact will show how confident and attractive you are. Maintaining less eye contact shows that you are nervous, lying, or uninterested. That’s not good most of the time. It’s not as if you shouldn’t look anywhere. You just need to maintain eye contact. You must maintain eye contact, if needed. If not, don’t do it because you may give off a weird impression.
3) A genuine smile: You must smile at the person while making eye contact; you must smile at the person, reflecting your positive attitude. It must be genuine and friendly, not creepy or weird.
4) Greeting: You must start a conversation by greeting them with a good tone and full of energy after smiling. Saying “Hi” or Hello” is a good way to start your conversation. Do remember that if you introduce yourself in a nice fashion, the other person will likewise respond in a nice fashion. This is a nice time to learn more about the other person. If you meet someone and say “Hello,” the other person will also reply with “Hello” or “Hi.”.
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But, for example, if you say, “Hello, my name is John, and I’m a student,” you will likely get a big reply, like, “I am Mary, and I’m a student too.” This isn’t the best example, but you must understand that being nice when introducing yourself will create an equal response, expanding the conversation between the both of you.
Video: How to attract people in just 90 seconds.
5) Leaning: You should lean slightly forward while talking to someone. It shouldn’t be too much, but a little. It will show the other person that you are interested in them and in their talk, and that you are comfortable and open with them. You shouldn’t try not to do this much while meeting the other sex. Otherwise, you can look needy and desperate, and that doesn’t look good.
Read More: 15 amazing coincidences that happened in the world
Let’s get to the second part, which is establishing rapport. Among all three, this is the most important part because you can form mental and emotional connections with people who will begin to like you. You must be conscious that we humans are emotional creatures who mostly take decisions through our hearts, and forming rapport with each other will help us create emotional connections and understand others’ feelings and emotions. Here are some points to achieve that:
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1) Attitude: While talking to your close friends or family, you realize that they are sad or angry. You ask, “What happened? Is everything okay?” At that moment, they may give a fake smile and say, “Yes, everything is okay. I’m fine.” You might not believe them, and you will come to know later that you were right about the person’s emotions. Because of some reasons, we come to know that they are lying, but have you ever thought about why something is wrong?
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Your attitude directly affects your mind, and your mind connects to your body. If your attitude is full of anger, no matter how nice and calm you talk, people will understand your anger through your facial expression, voice tone, and body language. That attitude will not allow you to build a rapport. Therefore, instead of keeping negative feelings, like anger, impatience, and boredom, while talking to people, try to keep positive attitudes, like being confident and patient.
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2) The Art of Synchronization: Let’s say you like soccer. Your bonding will be more with those people who have the same interests as you. If you like watching a TV show like “Game of Thrones,” then you will love to spend time with fans of that show. You must have noticed that people with common interests easily meet up with each other, become comfortable with each other, and form connections.
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Why does this happen? We love to spend time with people who are like us, have the same interests, and have similar thoughts and ideas about life. It’s not always, but it happens most of the time. Our bonding will be less with those who are close to us. Therefore, if we synchronize with others or do things like them, it will really help us to form a rapport. We won’t talk about thoughts and ideas because those can differ, but we will talk about some practical things that can easily synchronize and form a connection with the other person.
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In order to synchronize with others, we must focus on three things: visual, vocal, and verbal. 55% of our communication is based on visual things, specifically our body language; 38% depends on our voice tone; and only 7% depends on our verbal communication. The first important thing we come to know here is our body language. To synchronize it, you can use a very simple technique, which is to copy the other person’s body language. If a person is keeping one hand over the other while talking, then you can calmly keep your hand over the other hand while talking. If they lean towards you to say something, you too lean towards them, and, at whatever level, you can copy their body language. Just remember that they don’t understand or realize that you are purposely doing that. If the person is touching his or her shoulder, then you don’t need to do that. If you do so, the other person will understand that something isn’t right, and rapport will not form.
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Now, let’s talk about the second form of vocal communication. Your 38% of communication depends on the way you talk. It is very important to synchronize this as well. The first thing you can do is vocally synchronize the tone of the other person’s voice. If that person asks you something in an exciting tone, then you too will reply in an exciting tone. Suppose your friend comes and asks you, “Hey, how are you?” in an exciting tone. Then you reply, “All good, brother.”
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If he or she says something in an emotional tone, then you reply in an emotional tone. You can also synchronize the tone’s volume and speed. If the other person says something loudly, then you too speak a little loudly, and if they speak slowly, you too speak slowly.
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Now, the last is vocal, particularly. The words the other person is saying and using. This topic is not so important, but we’ll talk about it later.
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3) Congruity: When watching any movie or TV series, we know, deep inside our hearts, that the events occurring are not real. However, when any of our favorite characters die or anything bad happens to them, we feel bad. We feel angry, and few of us even cry, even after knowing that it wasn’t real. We believe all the things that we see in that movie or TV series, and we emotionally connect with them. Why does this happen?
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Congruity is something we need to think about when communicating with other people. Actors always focus on the visual, vocal, and verbal aspects of communication, all at once, while acting. If the actor’s good at those things, we find their performance to be authentic. Similarly, if you want people to believe and form an emotional connection with you, try to work on those aspects all at once by looking confident. Looking nervous and having a confident voice tone won’t help you at all.
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Since we have covered the aspects of meeting and rapport, let us talk about the third part: communication. Specifically, let us talk about how to communicate with people and what subjects to talk about. Most people don’t understand what they talk about when they meet someone for the first time or what subjects to make their conversation interesting so that people will enjoy their company.
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However, this is an important and big topic, so we will explain it in the next video. Whatever we have explained in this video, you should implement it in real life just by watching this video at home. Nowadays, we spend so much time with our cell phones. We are forgetting the importance of having face-to-face conversations. Try to use your phone less and meet up with people in real life.
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Read More: Strange Things Found Inside Human Body
We have shared this knowledge from the book “How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less” by Nicholas Boothman. If you want to improve your communication skills and become an impressive person, please buy this book. It will be very helpful for you. We have also shared the free book link in the comment and description sections.
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